Lose weight by caring for your emotions instead of eating them
You know what it’s like to feel tangled up in food, weight, guilt, shame, and all the noisy chatter in your head.
You’re probably already familiar with the “how to’s” – the behaviors that will help you lose weight, eat less sugar, and make healthier food choices.
The problem is why don’t we do them? What gets in the way? Why don’t I follow through on the things that will help me stop overeating, stop bingeing, lose weight, and have a peaceful relationship with food?
This is where your emotions enter the picture. If you want to heal the source of binge eating and overeating, you have to heal the inside “stuff” – how you relate to your hurts, needs, emotions and many selves. Doing this inner work is what makes the outer work (like what you eat, how you exercise) stick.
Soften the critical voice with a compassionate approach
Does this sound like you?
- You may be empathic and have strong emotions – you either hide from your emotions (you may use food as a buffer to avoid feeling painful feelings) or you feel overwhelmed by your feelings and use food as a life raft.
- You may be conscientious. You drive yourself hard with high expectations, internal criticism and perfectionism, and use food for comfort to make up the difference.
- You may be highly sensitive
- You may have poor boundaries and feel all over the place, distractible
- Eating healthy foods may bring up intense feelings of deprivation
- Food is your “mother” – what nurtures you and helps you feel safe. You feel anxious and scared about not having this love.
Maybe you “know better” but find it hard to actually follow through with action. You’ve probably read every nutrition book that’s ever been written. (You may even be a coach, healer, nurse, therapist or nutritionist yourself.)
Perhaps you’ve gone through a difficult time and your eating habits have reverted back to a painful place. Now you feel anxiety around food, your body and what to eat.
If you’re feeling anxious about food, then maybe you feel…
- Frustrated by a recent weight gain or a return to overeating
- Strongly against dieting
- But don’t know what else to do!
How to let go of overeating and binge patterns
If you could remove the emotional barriers that keep you stuck in overeating, you could soften the shame. You could rest in safety, knowing that you are capable of caring for your emotions without comfort food. You’d find that you can stick to your food plan without “white knuckling” it.
Imagine how you might feel untangling from all of this, and finally getting your weight loss practices to stick. You could feel peaceful and free, as you experience a reprieve from criticism, blame, and self-loathing. You’d feel free to move forward and give yourself the structures, support, and food plan you need – even if they’re contrary to what “experts” say!
To get there, you’ll need a gentle shift in how you’re responding to the situation. If you think that time might be now, then imagine learning:
- How to care for yourself without food.
- How to respond to stress without overeating.
- How to quiet your resistance.
- How to care for your feelings instead of being overrun by them.
This is what you’ll learn in Heal Overeating: Untangled, an audio and interactive course, authored by Karly Randolph Pitman, founder of Growinghumankindness.com, and a former bulimic, binge eater and sugar addict.
“Untangled provided the missing puzzle piece [with my food issues.]” – Jessica V., Mexico
What about weight loss?
Untangled participants gradually lose weight as their eating habits shift. You may eat different foods. You may set limits on certain foods, but from a place of desire, not a place of “should” or “I have to.”
Here’s what starts to happen:
- You find an internal refuge inside (unconditional love) instead of a refuge in food.
- Your attachment to food decreases.
- The bingeing softens.
Most importantly, these changes come not from force, shame, guilt or punishment, but from unconditional love, compassion and nurturing – from a relationship based in lovingkindness. You change your relationship with food and your body by changing your relationship with your precious, precious self.
“You have wonderful insight into the psychology behind overeating…I have lost over 50 pounds since last fall.” – Pam C.
The Untangled course came from my own experience in trying to heal over 30 years of overeating / emotional eating and 20 years of binge eating.
I tried EVERYTHING to heal and still struggled. I wondered, “What’s wrong with me?” Weigh and measure programs were impossible for me to stick with over the long term.
Programs that told me, “You create your own reality” left me feeling paralyzed by shame and self blame. And intuitive, “eat whatever you want approaches” sent me back into the throes of sugar addiction.
So I created my own approach, based on self compassion, self acceptance, and opening to my needs and feelings. Instead of whipping myself into shape, blaming, or punishing my behavior, I forgave myself.
I looked on my depressive and anxious tendencies with mercy, and I felt such compassion for the pain that led me to seek solace in food.
I gave myself the structure I needed to thrive – a balance between “weigh and measure” and “eat whatever you want.”
Once I stopped blaming myself, and gave myself what I needed, something powerful within me shifted. I stopped fighting against myself. My resistance softened. I started doing the things I knew I “should” be doing – like eating regular meals, eating whole foods, and caring for my feelings without eating them.
I asked for help with honesty, gathering the support I needed to heal. And I was able to do this because of the power of love – the greatest force in the world.
I’ve been plugging away at Heal Overeating, and it’s doing wonders for me! My journey with your class has coincided with my continuing spiritual journey, and for the first time in my life, I’m not beating myself up for my mistakes…I got to the point where I was able to set reasonable eating limits for myself, and I’m starting to lose weight.” – Theresa R., Washington
How does Untangled work?
Among the resources available, Heal Overeating: Untangled teaches practical ways to soften the critical voice in your head and tools to care for your emotions instead of eating them. You’ll learn how to reparent yourself, healing deep seated wounds instead of soothing the pain of those wounds with food.
You’ll listen to author Karly Randolph Pitman as she teaches you to soothe your shame and lower your anxiety.
Untangled helps you stop overeating by softening shame and soothing the emotional brain (Our emotional brain, not our willpower is in charge when we overeat!) So it’s about learning how to lower stress and anxiety.
You’ll go through exercises to foster integrative thinking (otherwise known as impulse control – the ability to sit with an intense feeling – like a food craving! – without acting on it.)
You’ll learn ways to foster safety, capability, resiliency, and a feeling of “I have what I need” – a secure foundation to shift out of overeating.
When you have what you need, you can grow– you can change those painful food habits. It’s a balance between “weigh and measure” and intuitive eating programs that offers both structure/safety as well as ease, softening the vacillation between bingeing and restrictive eating.
By pairing this emotional healing with excellent support (we are interdependent beings who need community) and a strong physical foundation (supporting the body and brain with vitamins, minerals, and sound nutrition), you can heal a compulsion to overeat!
“By far the best help I’ve ever gotten in dealing with my food issues, not only because it deals with the real issues underneath, but it also…digs deeper and wider than I’ve ever gone on my own.” – Katie P.
Members are saying:
“Thank you Karly for sharing so openly the plethora of people who have helped / help you on your journey so that others, (me) can listen to, learn from and chose to embrace their ideas as well. You know something, I can’t even remember how I came across the Untangled series and yet it encompasses so much of what I have yearned for and not known how to do / apply to myself!
“My journey involves another addiction besides food. Once that other addiction slowly was arrested, i.e. turned into recovery, the grief and the fear that has been hidden for so long has been surfacing since doing the Untangled series. It has been exhausting, liberating, scary, fabulous – a kaleidoscope of emotions and feelings.
“I have previously done 4 straight years of psychology / psychiatric treatment and yet the gentleness of your voice and your guidance has allowed me to “have a go at re-mothering” myself now.
“I am still very scared when I feel out of control but I know that’s o.k. Since listening to the Untangled series I am learning to gently rock myself, hold myself, listen to myself. – Cammy
“I can’t thank you enough for helping me to realize what’s possible when it comes to a healthy, positive and very doable (!) lifestyle.” -Elizabeth T., Colorado
“Karly’s approach to healing the hungry child within me is so powerful that I can feel myself actually becoming stronger. I’m no longer trying to cheat myself into thinking I’m getting what I deserve by eating whatever I want and then some, just because I can. Sure, I trip up…but I can forgive myself for falling and move on to try again. Thanks to the life experiences Karly has shared, I know that I’m important and worthwhile and that there’s a better way to take care of me. And I’m the one to do it. I’m finally on the path to healing.” -Joetta T., Massachusetts
“The best part of this whole process is that I am getting back in touch with my spirituality. You have helped a great deal in putting that back into focus. I was so busy resisting and spinning out and feeling out of sorts that was very fear-based. When I stepped back and took the ‘inventories’ from a spiritual perspective, everything seems to be getting clear again.” -Beth B., Kentucky
“I can’t even begin to express to you how helpful this forum, program, and overeating help has been to me and how grateful I am to you for creating it.” – Mary K., Minnesota
Does this sound like you?
- Restrictive or “weigh and measure” diet programs feel too punishing.
- Intuitive eating hasn’t been successful for you, either (you need some structure).
- You can’t stick to your eating plan or diet.
- You feel caught in self blame, shame and beliefs about, “I created this” or “It’s all my fault.”
Here are some more characteristics of people who find a fit with the resources available here:
- You’re sensitive to criticism, feelings, noise, energy, mood, and chaos
- You are spiritual and conscious and feel deeply ashamed of your food and weight issues
- You’re empathic – you easily feel other people’s feelings as well as your own.
What can we say but welcome! We know how you feel!
I really LOVE Untangled and have learned so much with it, especially with caring for my emotions without eating them.” – Jill A., Nebraska