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My little sugar binge devil: how to respond

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Bribery, reward, punishment, coercion, negotiation: all of these approaches are about shutting up that little devil on your shoulder who is prompting you to eat sugar.

Instead of trying to overpower your “little devil” with your “little love angel” and make the devil wrong, there’s another way to respond – and one that honors all of you. Watch my video to learn how.

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Why do we say that food is a ‘mother?’ And what does it mean that overeating is an ‘attachment cry?’ If you self soothe with food, struggle with self criticism, and would like to gently soften these patterns, we’re here to help.

At Growing Humankindness you’ll learn about the relational needs that drive food seeking so you can understand your behaviors with wisdom, kindness, and empathy.

We offer a couple levels of help. The first step is to join the (free) Growing Humankindness Welcome Room on our Mighty Network, where you’ll receive helpful tools like The Binge Rescue Worksheet.

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Our approach is rooted in relational neuroscience and loving presence – two streams that we think flow from the same river, resting in compassionate love.

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  • This article really struck a chord with me, and I am going to immediately try to address my bingeing side with compassion and love. I have tried all the things you have mentioned like coercion and berating myself. I ended up with a pile of self-hatred that has been hard to live with. As I listened to this podcast, just the single thought of embracing that part of my self starting bringing relief then and there. Thank you, I think this was right for me.

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  • I love this video. It is SOOOOOOOO where I need to be right now. When I was in a leadership program years ago … we had to create a goal for ourselves and the goal that I created was "I want to be so deeply rooted in self love and self compassion… that it oooozes out of my pores and everyone around me will instantly fall in love with themselves. After watching this …I am more clear that self love IS about loving not just the part of yourself that "does the right thing" but ALL of our selves… Self love is all encompassing and there can be NOTHING left out or the love will not be complete. It will be conditional. Love you Karly! Thanks

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  • I LOVE your video posts. Thank you so much for having courage and sharing with us. You are changing lives… mine included.

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  • Great – Ive just got to do it now, says me eating chocolate after breakfast this morning – its just that craving movement, that point of should i/shouldn't I, I want/I dont want, that battle – thats the bit I need to overcome and face and do what you suggest….

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  • Oh Karly, thank you so much. I just walked over to the birthday party celebration at work and ate a brownie and ice cream and for the first time didn't beat myself up. The devil/angel dynamic I've lived with my whole life! I found out as I was walking to the party that the part of me that wanted to eat the sugar was scared because of a hard phone conversation I had just had and didn't want to feel left out of the celebration at the party…you know even though I ate a brownie and ice cream I didn't eat three brownies and three scoops of ice cream. I sat there thoughtfully eating and feeling the sadness and fear. It's like something really clicked about the befriending of the sugar addict…it's really just lonely and scared in my case. I will pray to find more lifegiving ways to tend to this lost part of myself.

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  • Dear Jeannine,

    How lovely to hear from you!

    I love that you didn’t beat yourself up for having a brownie and ice cream.

    And I love that you tapped into your vulnerability and realized that you were wanting sugar because you felt scared, vulnerable and needing attachment/reassurance/connection and closeness. Oh, of course!

    And I love that you mindfully ate your sugar treat while holding and feeling your sadness and fear…

    Those sugar cravings parts are so tender, and so wise in their longings for connection and sweetness….

    My friend, you are finding lifegiving ways to tend to this lost part of yourself – you just did it 🙂 I’m so proud of you.

    I have a hunch this article here may resonate with you. It’s speaking about a child’s need for proximity. I’m guessing it may help you understand why that need for proximity and connection is so important to you, and how you’re wanting that need to be filled, to put your heart to rest.

    This article relates to the post I wrote a year or so ago on the attachment origins of overeating and sugar addiction. You can find it here for easy reference:

    http://www.firstourselves.org/missing-link-overeating/

    http://thewonderofchildhood.com/2012/01/bringing-our-children-to-rest/

    If this feels unclear or muddy I can try to unpack it and draw the connections in a blog post 🙂

    In love and care, Karly

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  • Ah, Jodi,

    Yes, that self hatred is so painful, isn't it? I have been there, my friend.

    I'm so grateful this brought you peace and relief in your heart. That "sugar devil" is such a tender part of us…all it wants is our compassion, understanding and love.

    Warmly, Karly

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  • Just through googling I came on this video.

    You have such wisdom and insight. You’ve organised all my fragmented thoughts and given me a framework for approaching this sugar addiction that’s at the moment, ruling my days.

    Thank you.

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    • Hi Will,

      I’m happy to meet you here! I’m glad that this perspective is helpful to you – it sounds like it’s given you an orientation towards sugar that can help you make sense of, and find your way, through your relationship with sugar. I’m so glad.

      Warmly,
      Karly

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    • Read + nourish

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