Friends, this course is $265 USD (plus sales tax if you live in Texas.) We also take checks if you prefer to pay by check. To pay by check contact us here.
Help for when you feel stuck in resistance, "I don't want to!" and 'self sabotage'
You may want to make positive changes with food, sugar and your body - such as setting limits around your sugar consumption, beginning a yoga practice, or putting boundaries around how much Netflix or social media you're using. You may feel strongly about wanting to stop painful habits like self soothing with food.
You may have wonderful intentions and feel full of desire - and yet you feel caught in strong feelings of resistance, inner conflict, and defiance.
When you go to set a limit with sugar, an inner part may suddenly flare up and say, "No way! You can't make me!" - and then eats way too much chocolate.
Or when you attempt to go to yoga class, you might notice a part that resists going at all!
This can be so frustrating - especially when you're earnest, sincere, and trying so hard.
It may feel like the only way you can make positive changes is to steamroll over your vulnerability or be harsh and hard on yourself, even though this feels awful. Or you may feel discouraged, like compassion doesn't work. You may feel envious of those who seem to be able to follow through on their desires or who can heal. Ouch, it's so painful.
Meet the inner rebel
What is this feeling in us that automatically says no to these changes we'd like to make in our lives?
We can think of this feeling as our inner rebel.
The inner rebel is the part of us that says, “Uh oh, no way!” and strongly rebels or resists when we try to tell ourselves no, set limits or steer or guide ourselves into new ways of being. The inner rebel can arise as strong emotions, body sensations, thoughts and feelings of resistance, rebellion, opposition, and defiance.
This can be so frustrating! For there's a part of you that longs to grow, heal and change. And yet there's another part of you that feels resistant, scared or unwilling. The conflict between these two desires can lead to 'self sabotage,' anxiety about what to do, self doubt, and keep you stuck in the very patterns you long to change.
You may feel caught in a polarized battle between the parts of you that want to stay safe and the parts of you that long to grow.
Developmentally, resistance often serves a positive function. It can also be a protector part that needs reassurance, listening, or safety before you can move forward.
Healing and change don't happen by cutting out the parts of us that feel resistant or scared but by cultivating a curious, warm, attuned relationship with the places in us that say, "No!"
In teaching over a thousand students and in listening to their food stories, nearly everyone experiences this inner conflict in their healing journey. It's really, really common – and why I've created this course.
The class curriculum
In Align, you'll learn how to bring presence, compassion, and listening to the parts of you that arise when you try to make healthy changes.
You'll learn how to diffuse the conflict between the parts of you that want to change and the parts of you that resist making changes so that you can align all your parts on the same side, supporting your healing and growth.
You can learn more about the curriculum below.
Module 1 - Meet your inner rebel
- In this module you'll learn why we can feel caught in strong feelings of resistance, no, and "You can't make me!"
- You'll learn how the inner rebel typically appears in your daily life.
- And you'll learn how to approach this part of you in a spirit of reverence and cooperation rather than opposition and conflict.
Module 2 - Understanding feelings of resistance and opposition
- In this module, you'll learn about counterwill, the developmental instinct that opposes coercion and being told what to do.
- You'll learn why it's important to listen to and honor resistance and the developmental purpose that resistance serves.
- And you'll learn how to soften counterwill and bring in self leadership, listening, and cooperation to those parts that resist being guided.
Module 3 - Befriending vulnerability - the soft under belly of the inner rebel
- In this module, you'll learn how to befriend the vulnerability that can lie underneath resistance.
- You'll learn when resistance is a protector part caring for a part of us that feels powerless, scared, or unprotected.
- And you'll learn how to meet the true needs of these parts so that the resistance can soften.
- This process is often key in softening our fear and frozeness around our inner rebel, helping us feel less afraid of this part and more empowered to care for it.
Module 4 - Befriending limits and the love that is 'no'
- In this module, you'll learn how to reframe how you look at limits, boundaries, and no as a form of love and protection rather than a form of punishment, shaming, coercion, force or control.
- You'll also learn how to move through the adaptive process, what prunes out what doesn't work and nurtures neuroplasticity, healing, and transformation.
Module 5 - Nurturing sovereignty, self leadership and follow through
- In this module, you'll learn how to access and nurture your inner power and strength, the self leadership that can steer you through resistance.
- You'll learn when to say no to resistance, when to say yes, when to slow down, and when to move to care for the hurt underneath.
- You'll also learn how to nurture your capacity to follow through and effect change, to make the positive changes your heart yearns for.
Image: Know Your Power by Eddy Sara, used by kind permission of the artist.
How the class works
Class begins Monday, January 29th and ends Tuesday, March 5th.
Each week we'll cover one of the core areas of struggle to help you soften your battle with your inner rebel. You'll learn how presence, compassion, and listening to the needs of the parts of you that say 'no' can help you soften the polarization and inner conflict you feel inside. You'll receive a downloadable audio lesson for each module as well as worksheets and other helpful tools.
You'll also receive audio meditations/guided practice to nourish and deepen your healing. These will help you practice what you're learning and offer a place of calm and holding.
You can play these meditations on your phone when you're feeling anxious. Or replay them before bedtime or in the afternoons when cravings often arise.
Help for cravings and difficult emotions
In all our courses you also receive a section of tools to help you in the moment when you're craving sugar, feeling caught in food, or are experiencing painful or difficult emotions. People find these tools super helpful!
Then we'll gather each Tuesday for group webinars where you can ask questions, share your experience, and connect with others. Webinars will have time for Q&A but also time to do short meditative exercises together and to practice what you're learning.
During these gatherings we'll practice things like:
- sitting with the tension of "a part of me wants to do this and a part of says no"
- being with the part of us that wants to soothe with sugar and being with the part that doesn't
- softening counterwill - the voice of opposition
- soothing the pain underneath the inner rebel
- and connecting with our strongest self
Webinars are on zoom from 2 to 3:30 pm Central Time. You can join us live or listen to the recordings later.
We also have an orientation webinar on Tuesday, January 30th from 2 to 3:15 pm central time. During this webinar, I'll orient you to the online space, introduce you to listening partners, and set the tone for our time together.
These are the dates for the webinars:
- January 30 (75 minutes)
- February 6
- February 13
- February 20
- February 27
- and March 5
Unlimited online access
The class is hosted on our Mighty Network, a private, quiet, calm, ad free space where you can access the course materials without the noise, distraction, and privacy concerns of Facebook.
You'll have unlimited online access to the course materials including after the class ends. And you can download the Mighty Networks app so you can access the course easily on your phone or other device.
You'll also have the option to pair up with a listening partner for the duration of the class. With a listening partner, you each take turns listening to each other as you share what's arising for you.
Being listened to with warmth, care and presence - with no pressure to change or fix - is a healing balm that helps the places within us be supported, allowing us to shift and change the ways we nourish ourselves.
I'll offer guidelines about listening partners during the orientation webinar so you have support, both in receiving and offering listening, especially if you've never done something like this before.
Weaving a web of support
The practices, group webinars, and listening partners come together, weaving a web of support to hold you during the holiday season. This can lower the stress you feel and also help you seed new patterns with sugar.
As the founder of polyvagal theory, Stephen Porges says, "Safety is the foundation of healing." To change our patterns, we need lots of warmth and acceptance. We need to feel safe to be right where we are. And we need understanding and empathy, including understanding and empathy for ourselves.
This creates the safety to look inside, to help us heal, and to help us take the exquisite risk towards growth. This class will help you understand this gentle yet powerful approach to healing and help you begin to use these tools in your daily life - with sugar and beyond.
About me, your course guide
My name is Karly Randolph Pitman, the creator of Align, and I understand why this is hard. This topic is close to my heart as I've had a complex, painful relationship with food throughout my life.
Food has been the primary way I've cared for sensitivity, overwhelm, and trauma. Parts of me would feel anxious and frustrated, eager to make positive changes. But I also had parts that felt really worried and would rear up with strong "Nos!" when I tried to change. (More about me here.)
I wanted to understand the needs that drove me to food so I could be gentle with myself and find other ways of caring for myself. And I wanted to experience a healthy sense of power. What helped me - and what you'll practice in Align - is turning towards our vulnerabilities rather than pushing them away, shaming, or fighting them.
I created my first course in 2008 and love weaving the compassionate insights of relational neuroscience, attachment theory, and spirituality into a place of safety and healing where the painful places in our being can unfold.
The next step of your journey
If you've spent a lot of time nurturing your softness, making room for your vulnerability, and creating a more compassionate relationship with yourself and your overeating, and yet you feel like you're not able to make the changes you'd like to make with food, healing your relationship with your inner rebel may be the next step on your journey.
In this course, you'll learn about the dynamics that feed the inner rebel, how to soften the battle between your desire for change and your desire to say no, and how to relate to your inner rebel with more levity, playfulness, and friendship rather than fighting with this part of you.
A healthy relationship with your inner rebel is how you're able to:
- soften 'self sabotage' and resistance
- stop doing what doesn't work – doing the same thing over and over, while expecting a different result
- access a fuller range of your power and capacity
- and how you feel empowered to make changes in your relationship with food, your body and self care
Be filled with power and volition
I want you to feel empowered - to be the leader of your life, to be filled with power, to feel courage when facing difficult emotions and needs, and to feel both empathy and 'good orderly direction' for those parts of you that feel resistant, defiant, rebellious, stuck or afraid.
Healing your battle with your inner rebel - learning how to befriend rather than fight against this part of you - will help you embody and embrace your natural power. This then frees you up to follow through on the dreams, intentions, and hopes that are precious to you and your being - and that are also needed in our shared world.
As a sign in my gym bathroom says, "Please don't throw paper towels, trash, hopes and dreams down the toilet."
Do you feel moved to join us?
If you feel led to join us, and if this course feels like a good fit for your needs, we'd love to have you. And if you have any questions, please reach out. We want you to get the help you need and to find the right fit.
You can also read feedback from students who've graciously shared their experience with you. While your experience will be unique to you, their stories can give you an idea of what to expect.
What past students have said
Softening the grief under the inner rebel
Mary gave us permission to share her experience with one of the exercises in the Align course. She shares her story in the hope that it might help you understand what you might experience in the course. Thank you, Mary!
"Softening into grief under the inner rebel - I needed this! As you led me through the exercise, what came up was grief for all the years that are gone, without having done art SO big, SO beautiful, SO fulfilling. Feeling all alone, trying to bring forth beauty, not knowing how, no one to talk about it with, no one to help me, no one to understand my need. And, how hard I've been on myself for not being able to do better.
I held it, felt it, cried it and felt compassion for my self, knowing there is no way I could have done better. Forgiving myself and realizing the miracle of creating the beautiful art I have. Gratitude for the support I have now to meet my longing. Thank you."
Separating past needs from present needs
Susanna wanted to share her biggest takeaways from the Align course -
1. The inner rebel is acting up because of deep needs underneath, and separating past needs and grieving them, with present needs which can be gradually addressed, has moved me forward immensely.
2. Resentment generally, and resistance to praise ( in relation to my healing progress) are not wrong, but a sign of a need for more mutual understanding, sharing and connection, and also a need to accept and grieve what I cannot change.
3. Learning to relate to the inner rebel has given me a sense that I now am 'enough', and can trust my healing process, and allow for ups and downs while knowing that it is possible to be healed.
4. And I had big confusion when trying to set limits regarding food. I found out during this course that I have natural limits that are kind and give me long term holistic health. My limits are now based around eating to include all aspects of my health, including sharing with others in celebratory food, while not overeating.
This has spilled over into how I exercise (much more gently) and how I feel my body should be (not hyper fit and thin) so I am able to enjoy what I do, with some challenging stuff that is fun."
Walking through each stage, step by step, to set a limit
"What I loved about this course, as all of Karly’s courses, is how she walks you through the different stages to set a limit. It’s like peeling an onion, at the end you are left with a totally different understanding of your true self.
When I’m working on myself, before I even think of changing course I need to understand the nitty gritty of the issue on hand. It was very helpful that the audios were packed with tips, knowledge and soothing words. The worksheets helped put on practice what I learned from those audios. Loved the references of other authors, it gives me freedom to continue getting informed and nurtured.
I had started setting limits with others, so the concept that I could do it with myself picked my curiosity. Separating the emotionally charged side of limits is helping me make better choices. I’ve been able to lower the amount of bingeing episodes to once a week or once every two weeks. The amount I eat on each of those episodes has radically shrunk...
My phrase for 2020 was “ask for help.” Align was one of the ways I honored my phrase."
Why this is a great place to be
Healing your relationship with your inner rebel frees up your natural power, energy, and passion so that you can devote these precious resources towards what is most important to you - rather than embroiling this energy in warding off inner conflict.
If you've struggled with embodying and expressing power in how you care and nourish yourself, and you feel a nudge, longing, or desire to express power and strength in your life - even if you don't feel like you know how to do so - then you may be at a turning point in your journey.
You may be longing to express these other aspects of your being in your life, to combine softness with strength, compassion with commitment, and autonomy with cooperation. While it may feel scary, new or uncertain, it's a great place to be!
For something is longing to be born in you.
May this new life be supported with kindness, gentle hands, care, and support.
Whether or not you choose to take this particular course or whether you find help from another source, I want to thank you for your courage, desire and interest in this work. I wish you fullness of power, sovereignty, self leadership, and inner strength!
May you be a beacon of healthy power for yourself and for our world!
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I get behind? Can I access the course materials after the class ends?
Sometimes we get behind or can't attend all the live calls. After the class ends, you'll continue to have unlimited online access to the course materials in our online campus, the Growing Humankindness Mighty Network.
What if I'm unhappy with the course? What's your refund policy?
We're really proud of our offerings and stand behind them, and we also want you to find the right fit for your needs. If you have any questions if this is the right course for you, please reach out! We're happy to help.
If the class isn't for you, we offer a full refund prior to Monday, January 29th, the start of the class. After January 29, we offer a refund through Tuesday, February 6th minus a $25 administrative fee. After February 6 we don't offer refunds or exchanges. To ask for a refund, please contact us by email or phone. And if you have particular extenuating circumstances that are outside the scope of our refund policy, please reach out.
What if I can't attend the live webinars? I'm at work or it's the middle of the night for me.
We understand! All webinars are recorded so you can listen in later. You'll also have a way to ask questions even if you can't attend live.
I've taken other courses with Karly. How is this course different?
In all our courses, you'll find common threads like fostering compassion, relating to rather than cutting out various parts of ourselves, and approaching ourselves with reverence. What makes this course different is it's specifically focused on the inner conflict between the part of you that wants to make positive changes with food and the part of you that resists, feels frightened or says, "No way!"
How do I know if this course is the right fit for me?
If you're willing to reflect upon your experience, feel into your true needs, and make time for the exercises and webinars, you'll do well. It's helpful if you're open to meditation practices and if you're comfortable in an online environment. Lastly, this course is especially designed for highly sensitive people and offers gentle ways of supporting growth and change.
How do I know if this course is NOT for me? Can this course heal trauma?
Healing trauma is beautiful and holy work. It can also be complex and often requires time, patience, and the skill of a trauma therapist. While this course offers support and nourishment to deepen your relationship with yourself, and while many people receive healing from it, I want to be clear that we're not trained therapists. Therapy is wonderful, but this course isn't a replacement for therapy or designed to heal trauma. For help with trauma, we recommend searching for a therapist with trauma training like EMDR, Internal Family Systems, or Somatic Experiencing in your local community. This kind of support can make all the difference - and we want this for you!
We've created a page here to help you find good trauma support.