My first official, diagnosable eating disorder was bulimia. This old friend accompanied me through my last year of high school and all four years of college. I say old friend, but she often felt like an enemy. During those years I ping ponged … [Read more]
Living in the Layers
We're composed of so many layers, and live our lives within them. If you care for something long term - like a chronic illness or disability, addiction, or a challenging relationship with food - there's that top layer. Underneath that layer you … [Read more]
Softening into your own preciousness
When we haven't been 'met' – heard, held, seen, witnessed, or supported – in our fear, distress or pain, our nervous systems can be more reactive. We can feel shame when our nervous systems seem to have a mind of their own and react with hair trigger … [Read more]
Welcoming emptiness
Needing – feeling empty, lonely, overwhelmed, or hungry for connection – is such a vulnerable state. Just saying the word 'needy' can make us cringe and hide. I was talking to a loved one the other day, and they were saying how hard it is for them … [Read more]
When we feel like we have to work our way up the mountain of healing
I remember the day I saw a handout, a checklist of "signs of recovery from an eating disorder." I scanned the list, mentally ranking where I stood: Got that one, check. That one's better. I need to work on that one. I remember the flutter of … [Read more]
The Fear of Feeling
Underneath our tender protectors we often find a fear of feeling and a fear of pain. I write this not with judgment but awe at what the human heart can feel, hold, and meet. And I write this with the deepest respect to all that can overwhelm us, all … [Read more]
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