How My Work Began

If I had to describe in a sentence how Growing Humankindness offers her particular medicine to the world, it would be thus:  may we soften our hearts towards what we fear, misunderstand, and shame in ourselves and in each other.

The word that best conveys this is respect, to see with new eyes. As mystic John O' Donohue said, 'When we approach things with reverence, they have powerful ways of approaching us.' And so I wonder:  what rises to meet us when we offer reverence to those things that we most fear?  Breath by breath, my wish is that we may embody our wholeness and live from this knowing.

Back in my mid 20s, when I was looking for support for my eating disorders, I was also a young mother. Motherhood provided the perfect context to learn about my relationship with food! As I learned about parenting, I started to glimpse my wounds. I remember thinking, "What my kids need I need too!"

Pretty quickly, relational neuroscience captured my mind and heart! I've spent the past 20 years learning the principles of relational neuroscience to better understand what lies underneath food suffering and how we can bring healing to this collective wound.

During this time, I've also been a student and practitioner of contemplative practice. These two pillars - developmental psychology and presence, mixed with the perfume of self compassion - are the foundation of my work.

I live in Austin, Texas on the land of the Tonkawa, Apache, and Comanche people, Peace and Blessings be upon them, with my husband Patrick and our family, our Bailey pups, a very frisky cat, and radiant oak trees. I love connecting with people, sitting in the Silence, good stories, good music, good food, lifting heavy things, making as much as possible with my hands, playing Scrabble, and taking long walks with my animals. 

My dreams are rooted in the hearts of my mothers and fathers, my grandmothers and grandfathers, both those of blood and those of friendship who've taught me what it means to be human:  to grow things in the soil, to make things with my hands, to live in community, to live simply, to serve life, to love fiercely, to offer freely, to receive with gratitude, to protect what is vulnerable, to ask for help, to listen, to speak the truth, to feast, to face conflict, to create beauty, to praise, to forgive often, to dream, to laugh, to dance, to grieve, to mourn, and to celebrate life.

Their eldering has helped me through both my darkest hours and my joys, and has helped me reclaim my love of life through many rounds of depression. Their companionship, love, and wisdom is seeded throughout Growing Humankindness, the soil that feeds us here. I hope you feel their footfalls.

I offer this home in service to all who've felt the shame of human stumbling and who yearn for wholeness, to a desire for a more just and loving world, and to deepen our shared connectedness. Underneath all my work you'll find a love for the human heart. You can learn more about my various offerings below. 

Offerings

Speaking and workshops

I offer workshops, talks, and presentations to spiritual communities, community organizations, universities and medical communities on several topics, including:

• Wholeness, healing and softening shame
• Recovery and emotional health
• Understanding the bonds we form with food
• The role of grief and tears

 Go here to listen to a sample talk, The Field and the Seeds, given to a contemplative spiritual community in Austin, Texas.

Dreaming aloud together + partnerships

I love to collaborate with contemplatives, artists, writers, teachers, poets, psychoeducators, community organizers, and facilitators to create beautiful mischief together. I'm especially interested in restoring our fractured relationships with our communities, our bodies and our earth. 

If you’re interested in collaborating on a project or would like to invite me to participate in a summit, please use this form. And here's how you submit a podcast, media or speaking request.

My teachers + the foundation of my approach

I want to honor my lineage and those who've blessed me with their teaching, wisdom and insight. My approach draws from three primary wells:

• Attachment theory and relational neuroscience, especially the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld
• Self compassion 
• And presence, the ground of our spiritual and wisdom traditions

I'm especially drawn to the headwaters where relational neuroscience and the mystical waters of Divine Love meet. As I see it, they come from the same river and speak the same language of connection.

Many have blessed me with their offerings, but a few stand out in how their work has personally impacted me, shaped my thinking and perceiving. I honor their great hearts. 

• Bonnie Badenoch, trainer, therapist and teacher of IPNB, interpersonal neurobiology
• Tara Brach, meditation teacher, therapist, and author
• The Focusing work of Eugene Gendlin
• My teachers on death, grief, and village making, Stephen Jenkinson and Nathalie Roy
• Dr. Gordon Neufeld, theorist and developmental psychologist, and all my teachers at the Neufeld Institute

I bow to Montessori elder Maureen Bright, who opened my eyes and who was my children's teacher, and mine. I'm eternally grateful to the wisdom and leadership of Patty Wipfler, the founder of Hand in Hand Parenting and creator of Listening Partnerships. I offer gratitude to the researchers, scientists, and seekers who've helped us understand trauma, including Peter Levine, Gabor Maté, Stephen Porges, and Bessel van der Kolk. I thank elder Malidoma Somé and his invitation into the ancestors. I send a bouquet of blessings to my first mentor, therapist, author and meditation teacher Abby Seixas. Lastly, I offer my endless gratitude to the poets, story tellers, mystics and artists, who already know of what relational science speaks, and whose craft helps us remember. 

May you feel their presence, wisdom and guidance here.