I’m so glad to meet you! I’m Karly, the founder and facilitator at growinghumankindness.
I help highly sensitive people who get caught in sugar, perfectionism & self criticism create a more compassionate relationship with themselves so that the pain of self blame softens, freeing our hearts to love, connect, and serve.
HSPs are often compassionate and gentle with others, but can find it difficult to offer this same compassion and understanding to themselves.
But there’s a deeper story that lives underneath the surface story of your struggles, and this story is both more true and more merciful. It’s this story that together we witness and midwife into being. So much beauty – and so much tenderness – lives in and underneath your challenges.
Growing human(kind)ness means to soften what has hardened within us, to claim the wholeness that is our birthright. Embracing life with tenderness helps us relate to our suffering differently, with greater wisdom, patience, and even wonder. As the drive to fix ourselves melts into a place of rest, painful habits dissolve and we no longer feel separate for struggling.
As our hearts soften, we’re filled with tenderness towards our pain, forgiveness for our human messiness, and greater trust, confidence, and ease. We embody our wholeness, our deeper story, and live from this deeper knowing.
Growing human(kind)ness arose from two things – from my own experience with 20 years of multiple eating disorders, chronic depression, and anxiety, and from bearing witness to others’ stories of brokenheartedness and rebirth. In my own life, I felt so much shame about my struggles and wounds. The self doubt and worthlessness left me feeling hopeless, stuck, and isolating myself.
For years I worked and worked on myself – reading books, studying spirituality, doing therapy – to try and fix what was wrong. But there was a lot of alarm, self attack, and frustration driving my attempt to heal the roots of my pain.
As the years of depression lengthened, and as I continued to feel stuck in the pain of trauma, I wondered if I would ever reclaim my sense of self.
Grace – and brokenheartedness – changed my experience. As I stopped making myself wrong for my suffering, I became more curious about my pain. I began to see my suffering as something that was asking for care, for presence and holding, rather than a flaw that I had to erase.
Each moment of ‘ouch’ – my hurts, wounds, vulnerabilities, and reactivity – became a moment of birth rather than a moment of punishment and shame. My role changed from the fixer – or executioner of my suffering – to her midwife.
Rather than trying to work so hard to create a more healed and loveable me, I began to lay back and rest, trusting my inherent worth and goodness – what cradled all parts of me, including my imperfection, woundedness, and vulnerability.
I feel passionate about nurturing greater connection and compassion in both our inner and outer worlds, in presencing a world of mercy and tenderness. I feel grateful to join you on this journey.
I live in Austin, Texas with my husband Patrick and our family, two dogs, a very frisky cat, lots of dust bunnies, and beautiful oak trees. I love reading good stories, listening and dancing to good music, eating good food, relishing good words, lifting heavy things, taking meandearing walks and playing Scrabble – especially when my daughter kicks my tail. And movies! I love watching movies!
Go here to invite me to be a part of a project/telesummit
Working with me:
If you’d like to work with me, I’d be honored to companion you on your heart’s journey. I teach and facilitate classes, write books and courses, and speak to groups to support you in bringing soft eyes to your human struggles. Underneath all my work you’ll find a love of the human heart.
I teach group classes regularly throughout the year, in an online group format where you can join from anywhere in the world. People say these group classes are like a village of connection, a safe and welcoming place filled with vulnerable, courageous, sincere, and soulful women and men. You can find a list of my classes here.
Signing up for my newsletter is the best way to learn about upcoming classes and my teaching schedule.
I have lots of free resources – webinar recordings, work sheets, interviews, and more – on my website to help you in creating a more compassionate relationship with your vulnerability. I’ve gathered all these resources on one page, including resources for sugar addiction, caring for resistance and the inner rebel, and softening cravings with compassion. You can find this page here.
I also host free webinars regularly throughout the year – these are a great way to get a taste of my approach. The best way to learn about upcoming webinars is to sign up for my newsletter.
How long will it take to see results?
This is a great question, and one I get regularly.
In teaching classes for over 12 years now, I’ve learned that group classes are an affordable and helpful way to get support. Learning and sharing with a group makes the healing journey easier, more supported, and more fun. Shame, isolation, and self judgment soften in a group setting, creating a safe space for healing to unfold.
As for how long you’d need to work with me to see changes, I’ve found that people gain the most traction when they work with me for 9 to 18 months.
This can vary, depending on the other kinds of healing work you’ve done, or where you are in your journey – for example, some people gain a lot of benefit from just 1 or 2 classes. But in general, I encourage looking at this as year to 18 month long journey, with breaks for rest, integration, and reflection embedded within that time.
If you’re struggling with trauma or feel overwhelmed by strong emotions, I encourage you to reach out to a therapist in your community for more support. While my classes can be a great help, they’re not designed to heal trauma, and I’m not a licensed therapist. I want to honor the limits of my approach so you can get the help you need and thrive.
My teachers and lineage:
Many have blessed me with their teachings, but a few stand out in how their work has impacted me and shaped my thinking and perceiving. I share them with you to honor their great hearts and bow to them with endless gratitude.
- The relational work of therapist, author, and trainer Bonnie Badenoch
- Tara Brach, meditation teacher, psychologist, and author, Radical Compassion, True Refuge and Radical Acceptance
- Teachers of grief and village making, Stephen Jenkinson and Nathalie Roy
- Dr. Gordon Neufeld, developmental psychologist and founder of the Neufeld Institute
- Abby Seixas, therapist, facilitator, and author, Finding the Deep River Within
- Mark Silver, business coach and Sufi healer
- Grief teacher Francis Weller
- My spiritual communities, the contemplative Christian community, the Buddhist community, and the Sufi community