In my last few posts, I’ve been talking about how important power is in your relationship with food. In case you missed them, you can read them here – why power is a form of love – and the two forms of nurturing that create healing with food.
Today I want to talk a bit more about power, because it’s so important. If you’re feeling stuck and frustrated because you can’t seem to make changes in how you relate to food, your body, or your needs, power may be the missing component.
When we don’t have a connection to our power we often feel unable to effect or make changes in our lives. This can exacerbate patterns of overeating, for food becomes the primary or only way we express power or care for ourselves.
Likewise, we may feel afraid of using power in our relationship with food and with ourselves because we’re afraid of hurting ourselves. This can show up in a number of ways:
- you may feel paralyzed, unable to move forward
- you may collapse into hopelessness and ‘why bother’
- or you may ping pong between too lenient and too rigid ways of caring for yourself
These dynamics can be so frustrating – and often have a common root: a conflict with your ‘inner rebel.’
Meet the inner rebel
The inner rebel is the part of us that says, “Uh oh, no way!” and strongly rebels or resists when we try to tell ourselves no, set limits or steer or guide ourselves into new ways of being. The inner rebel can arise as strong emotions, body sensations, thoughts and feelings of resistance, rebellion, opposition, and defiance.
It’s like a 2 year old saying, “No! You can’t make me!”
The inner rebel can be so frustrating! For there’s a part of you that longs for growth, healing and change. And yet the conflict with the inner rebel can create ‘self sabotage,’ fester feelings of self doubt, and keep you stuck in the very patterns you long to change.
In teaching over a thousand students and in listening to their food stories, nearly everyone experiences conflict with their inner rebel. It’s really, really common – and is why I’m offering a new course, Align: Heal the Battle with Your Inner Rebel, to support you in softening the conflict with this part of you.
The good news is this – you can learn how to understand, listen to, and care for the inner rebel so that you don’t feel caught in so much internal conflict.
Why it’s about relationship
It’s not about ‘cutting out’ this part of yourself, but understanding its necessary and vital role, giving it outlets so it can do its job, and connecting with this part of your being.
With loving relationship, you can align your inner rebel with the other parts of yourself, where your various parts cooperate in greater harmony – working together towards your dreams, hopes and yearnings rather than against each other.
If you’ve spent a lot of time nurturing your softness, making room for your vulnerability, and creating a more compassionate relationship with yourself and your overeating, and yet you feel like you’re not able to make the changes you’d like to make with food, healing your relationship with your inner rebel may be the next step on your journey.
Be filled with power
Healing your relationship with your inner rebel helps you embody and embrace your natural power. This then frees you up to follow through on the dreams, intentions, and hopes that are precious to you.
As a sign in my gym bathroom says, “Don’t throw paper towels, trash, or your hopes and dreams down the toilet.” This note makes me smile – and feel a bit inspired – every time I see it.