This year I've been studying with a dear mentor, therapist and teacher Bonnie Badenoch, diving into the world of relational neuroscience. One of the gifts that Bonnie gives is unending compassion, gentleness, and trust in the healing impulse that … [Read more]
Ode to Craving
In the Listen class this week, we're exploring our relationship with cravings - befriending their energy and the cry, underneath them, for help. Cravings can be such fierce things, and we can shy away from their appearance. And yet cravings, at … [Read more]
Listening to depression
A few weeks ago I wrote about meeting a new friend, Eugena Maguire of Parenting Human Beings. Eugena is a Canada based social worker, parent coach, and former 'struggling foster parent' who created a podcast, Unpacking Depression, where she … [Read more]
Where ‘stumbling always leads home’
Yesterday I was at my local Target, looking for a nightgown. Pajamas are my favorite clothes, and I took my time as I browsed the various robes and short sets. I walked past a clay colored camisole and stopped to rub my fingers over the fabric. Ah! … [Read more]
Remembering the delight of ourselves
Today I took my dogs for a walk, traipsing our normal loop of squirrel hunting and owl spotting, ending in a bout of enthusiastic stick fetching in the nearby pond. It is sunny and hot right now in Texas – over 100 degrees hot – and I took of my … [Read more]
The hospitality of belonging
Image: Nurture Love by Eddy Sara. Used by kind permission of the artist. Many of you know that I live in Texas, and so not very far away from the horrible tragedy that took place in Uvalde this week when a gunman attacked an elementary school. I, … [Read more]
Bearing the discomfort of emptiness
This past week we hosted my aunt and cousin at our home, who came to visit from Ohio. We hadn't since them since the end of 2019, and for five days we laughed, talked, and ate meals together. It felt like a holiday, and our hearts filled and … [Read more]
When care comes out as worry
There's a beautiful poem by Penny Harter, When I Taught Her How to Tie Her Shoes, that begins like this: A revelation, the student in high school who didn't know how to tie her shoes. I took her into the book-room, knowing what I … [Read more]
Caring for the need to protect ourselves
I have a dear friend who spent the last year going in and out of the hospital, caring for complications from a major illness. His body was in such a stressed state that going to sleep was near impossible. So he'd watch movies and TV shows until … [Read more]
Bending toward the light
20th century psychologist Carl Rogers is most widely known for his ideas about self acceptance – how this particular form of compassion is the cradle of change: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” I … [Read more]
When abstinence feels too alarming
When we struggle with addictive patterns like overeating or sugar bingeing, we may feel like we need to come to a place of complete abstinence in order to find relief and healing. And yet people have told me, over and over, how hard it is for them … [Read more]
Night eating and the longing for ‘home’
The end of the day, weekends, evenings, and before bed: these are all times when people tell me that their relationship with food – or other self soothing behaviors – is the hardest to bear. These times have a few things in common: … [Read more]
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